Thursday, May 19, 2011

I have totally been neglecting my blog! Lately Ive been so busy working, when I have a free minute, the last thing I want to be doing is something on the computer. But its more than that, Ive been neglecting my blog because I havent had anything of substance to say and Ive been aftraid to use this blog as an outlet to express myself, stresses and all. So here I am at 2:51am, probably barely making sense, the night before Carlee's Corner Boutique opens for business. This has been such a whirlwind from the beginning. I started by needing a hobby and less than a year later, here I am with a full time job! Im worried that I wont be able to handle being a full tme mom, having my kids at work with me, and still having a chaos free workplace. Im worried that while I have a loyal fan base, noone will come to my store. Im worried that all these hopes and plans I have for my business and future might not work out. Then on the other hand I worry that people will come, that I'll become too busy. Too busy to be a mom, the way I want to be a mom. Too busy for free time with friends and family. Too busy for church functions. Ive always had this standard for myself that I would never be the mom that put work first, money first and success first, before family. Then again Im not content sitting at home all day with the kids and not having an outlet. I am so passionate about my work, both the photography and the boutique, and I thrive on the consistancy and effort that my job requires. Its the same issue women have been wrestling with for years... to work or not to work. CJ still has 4 years before he goes to kindergarten, so unless I want to put him in daycare, which I cant afford full time anyway, my only option is to bring him to work, and of course Carson too. Taking the kids to work hasnt been and wont be easy, but for me its the only solution to still being their full time mom but also furthing my hobby/passion into a career.
Pray for me :)  Working and 2 little ones are hard to combine!
And pray for the store, I am super nervous to see where this next step will take me and CCB, if anywhere. All I can do is pray and leave it in Gods hands. I know He has a plan for me and my family and I just pray that CCB is a big part of it.